i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
