You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
