Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
