CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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