Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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