i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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