he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
my poor anus
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
