he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
