It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
