i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
