WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
