It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
