Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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