To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
