okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
