Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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