Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
