I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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