We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
