i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
