It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
