I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
