so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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