420 ftw
Betty ford says i'm here all night
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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