did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
