and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
