been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
