Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
