Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
