he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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