Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
