You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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