party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
