Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
We have started to decorate penises.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
