wrigley field is MILF paradise
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
