I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
