Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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