yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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