Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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