I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
