When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
