so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
