I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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