she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
