well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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