My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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