i don't plan on having that self control this summer
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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