he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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