think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
