i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
