he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
