yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
