awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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