the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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