Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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