We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize