I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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