Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
