That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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