i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize