There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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