I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
