You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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