White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
