It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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