Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
