i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
