hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
