Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
