Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
