my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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