I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
